Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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