I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
