Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
