thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
