Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
