He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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