It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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