I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
