I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
