he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
