and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
