You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize