He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
