in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
