I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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