Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
