I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
