Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
