Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
