Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
