You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
