Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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