It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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