i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize