Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
