you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
