I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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