At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
