he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
