I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
