His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
