I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
