Cold hands, warm shart.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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