i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
