Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
