sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
