I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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