you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
