Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
