haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize