it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
