NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
