If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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