Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize