In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
