Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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