I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
