No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
