Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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