"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
