I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
