My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
