sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
