i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
