I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize