So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
