I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
