omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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