just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
