census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize