Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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