He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
