I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
