At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
