im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
