so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize