You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its not stalking. its research.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Mom said you looked used
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
