I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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