so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
