We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
