And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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