so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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