Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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