i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We need to get me chipped asap
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
