I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
