its not stalking. its research.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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